A Pearl and her Existential Crisis
by Olidood
Summary: Rosalina is a Pearl. She is to do what she is asked and not think for herself. But, she is also a human - She's supposed to change, to make mistakes, and decide who she ultimately wants to be. This would also probably be easier if she wasn't a teenager, placed with four other Human-Gem hybrids onto Earth, and constantly doubting the true nature of this experiment. Stonerfic(?)
1. Chapter 1: I'm only Pearlman

AN:

This Fanfiction may contain: Swearing, References to sexual contact (this isn't about smut though), Use of recreational Marijuana, Alcohol, teenage angst, existential angst, and bees.

Don't worry, this isn't completely AU - just a certain point in Gem history transpired differently and this is the result. There's still a history behind what lead the characters into this existence, but I'll withold from explaining - it's better to read it in the fanfiction, when it comes to that. I could clarify some things in the Authour Notes, but unless it's pretty confusing I'm not sure I will. I'm sure there's enough for you to pick up on what's going on, as you have the context of the entire show, unlike these characters. The characters in the tags will make their way over eventually. I didn't intend for this to be a Stonerfic but I got stoned to write the second chapter and... Yeah. It's still a story with stuff to tell. Enjoy.

'And always remember! _this_ is the most efficient form of folding, and it can leave you much time to accomplish other important chores!' The Pearl spoke of itself as nothing more than a chore-doer. 'Did you get all that, Rosaline?' And, thanks to her assignment here on Earth, she thought she was a teacher, too.

'Who exactly would I be serving?' Rosaline asked. 'A Human or a gem? Do I _need_ to know this?'

'At the current moment in time, what happens after this program is undetermined, so you're training should be open to whatever possible futures may follow after. You know this.' The Pearl that spoke to Rosaline was tall, much like she'd heard other pearls were. She had shot gray hair that stopped just before her shoulders, and parted neatly at her brown to expose her large eyes and nose. Her gemstone sat on her left shoulder, and looked not too disimilar to the one on Rosaline's own forehead. 'And, what should a Pearl such as yourself not do, Rosaline?'

'Oh, Uh, I think the answer's 'ask questions', but you just did that yourself, soo...'

She spoke with a twinge of arrogance. 'Yes, because I am not a pearl such as yourself - I am a fully functioning pearl who does exactly what she's told and never speaks back. Unlike you - A Human Pearl! How ghastly.' Rosaline guessed any Pearl would act like this, given the chance to mentor a lesser version of herself. When would a Pearl normally get that chance? Would... Would Rosaline ever get that chance?

Rosaline folded a tshirt as pearl watched over her. She came across a t-shirt that portrayed a large snake with bulging eyes. This belonged to... Nora. She put it in the 'Nora' pile, after a brief hiccup in which she apparently 'folded it too harshly'. Rosaline wished she could be any of the other gem hybrids. Nora, another such human-gem hybrid in this weird experiment, was an Amethyst, and - as Rosaline looked out the window, she was a _happy_ Amethyst.

A regular Amethyst guard flung the fifteen year old into the air, Nora travelling hundreds of feet before falling down safely into the arms of the other Amethyst. 'Amethyst Training', they called it. Yeah, sure. They totally weren't just fucking around and having fun.

She sighed, folding a black band t-shirt with 'Sadie Killer and the Suspects' written on with edgy ghosts and tombstones in the background. The t-shirt had a teardrop-shaped hole in the back, and such, Rosaline concluded it belonged to Freddie, The Lapis Lazuli hybrid. He'd recently mastered the summoning of his water wings at the price of soaking his t-shirt with constant streams of water. This was his solution, and might Rosaline add - if she was allowed - not a bad one.

'Why does everyone else get to experience the human feelings of enjoyment, Pearl?'

'They're not having fun, Rosaline, they're training. If they're enjoying it, that's just a human side effect, and, regardless of what it is, it's beneficial to their training.'

'You're telling me _that_ 's training?' She asked, pointing out the window at the Amethysts playing catch with Nora.

'Oh, those darn Amethysts can't be serious for a second! Continue folding, I'll be back shortly.'

'Yes, my pearl.' Rosaline mocked in a high pitched voice.

Pearl gave her a look and stopped walking. She stood, waiting.

Rosaline sighed with reluctance. 'Yes, My Pearl'

'You don't belong to me, so I'm not 'Your Pearl', But you should still refrain from mocking me.'

'Yes, Pearl. Forgive me.'

As she left the house, Freddie and Dug approached, having been watching from the living room for... Rosaline didn't want to think for how long.

'That - now that was fucking painful to watch.' Dug started. 'Like, a lot painful.'

Rosaline shrugged. 'I'm a Pearl. I'll get used to it.'

'Hey, there's my shirt!' Freddie - still mid air - took his shirt off, dropping the soaked fabric to the floor. He snatched the band tee from the stack of washing and slipped it over his head.. 'I probably can't do this without putting my wings away, huh?'

'Nah I'm sure you can' Dug laughed.

'Why do you -' Freddie spoke as he wriggled the t-shirt over his neck, the fabric of his t-shirt flirting with the water of his wings. 'Have to do all this boring shit? It's going to make you-' his wings suddenly shut off as he fell to the floor. When he rises again, the t-shirt is on. 'a boring person.'

'Well, I'm not a person. I'm a human-gem hybrid, and I'm supposed to be a Pearl.'

Freddie tilted his head and thought for a moment. 'You need to chill out.'

'Yes, perhaps my human mind and form is providing too much stress for my human brain to handle. Perhaps I could do with a human-break?'

'Come hang with us at the skatepark!' Dug said. 'I invented a new trick. I call it: the Fire Ollie.'

'Don't be too impressed' Started Freddie. 'It's literally an Ollie, but he does this thing with his feet where he sets the board on fire. I'm usually the one that puts it out. He hasn't given himself any serious burns.'

'Yet.' Dug added.

'Yet.' Freddie confirmed.

'No, I'd love to accompany you, but... Pearl would not allow it.'

'Fuck pearl!' Dug exclaimed. 'Just get one of the Amethysts to shapeshift and cover for you. That's gotta work, right?'

'No. Pearl would notice. The difference in hue would make it quite obvious.'

'It's a joke, duuuuude. Well, if you wanna come see my bust some sick moves, and understand jokes more, you know where to find us. Come on Freddie, Let's-a-go!'

'I'll catch up with you dude, I'm gonna help Rosa here with the dishes. Water is kiiiind of my thing.'

'Fine, I'll just burn to death if things go wrong.'

'Sounds great.'

As Dug skated out the house, Freddie sprayed water from the tap into Rosaline's face.

'Hey!'

'Come oooon. Come hang with us!'

'I can't, Pearl -'

'Who cares! Look. Pearl is an alien. Yes, one of the Aliens overseeing our existence - but running away from laundry duty is what normal human kids do all the time! She's not going to react to a misbehaving kid as if you were a traitorous gem for... not doing the laundry! If you'd just think of yourself as a human teenager for a minute, you could have so much more fun! If you're a human teenager - which, remember, you sort of are - this would not be a big deal. at all.'

'But I... I think this is really important. To Pearl. It's important to pearl that I become the best version I can be, and so...'

'Come on, Rosy, your Pearl's showing.'

Rosaline opened her mouth to retort, but laughed. 'Alright. I'm feeling like a little humanity could be good for me. Let's go see this Fire Ollie.'

While Rosaline had to admit riding on a literal flaming skateboard was pretty hardcore, the presence of Dug's human friends was a little... Uncomfortable. It's not that she didn't like humans, just - she had never said anything more to one than in passing. Rosaline sat with Freddie and Dug's human friend. He wore a black tshirt, spray painted onto it in white, the words: 'MY NAME IS RAFAEL'.

Rafael addressed Rafael, as Dug finished his seventh consecutive Fire Ollie. 'Alright, Freddio! the Fly-Guy.'

'Sup leggy'

'Not-' Rafael seemed shocked but burst out laughing. 'You can't just call everyone who walks 'leggy' '

'Well, I kind of can, kind of just did, so I kind of will.'

'Anyway. Nice wings. You've gotta have some cool skate moves.'

'Ha, I can fly. I could skate, yeah, if I wanted to - but flying's cooler.'

'Just fly with the skateboard then! It'll be sick.'

'Alright, alright. Not a bad idea, If I can upstage Dug at his own game, that makes me pretty fucking cool.' Freddie's wings shook as he lifted into the air.

'The Name's Freddie by the way - buuuuut I kind of like Fly-Guy better, if I'm being totally honest.'

'Nice to meet ya, I'm -'

'I know what your name is, leggy.'

Rafael snorted. 'Sure you do.'

Freddie swooped over to Dug, and Rosaline shifted her attention to herself. Her heart rate increased - she knew enough about humans to know that usually meant she held romantic feelings for the one she was with, but - that was Rafael, a human she didn't even know. She concluded perhaps it wasn't the human concept she'd originally though. It was something more along the lines of 'I've never met this human in my life - I've never met ANY human in my life and now I'm ALL ALONE with this human.'

'So, what should I call you?' Rafael asked, breaking Rosaline's train of thought.

'Rosalina. Is my... chosen name. But I'm a Pearl, so there's no need to distinguish me.'

'Yeah, but you're also a human, right?'

'Yes, in a way. It's... very complex. not something a human could understand.'

'Riiight.'

The two watched as Dug made his way back over and Freddie did some totally sick manoeuvres with the skateboard - doing ramps and putting his feet under the board, his wings erupting out as he lifted into the air, showing up Dug with multiple flips and barrel rolls. A... lot of barrel rolls.

'No lie, this is pretty sick.' Rafael said.

'Pshh. He's just flying. Yeah, sure - he's an impressive flyer, but he's not skating!'

'Ha, whatevs, Dug, you just salty. It looks cool.'

'Yeah, It sorta does.' Dug admitted. He turned to Rafael. 'So When's Rafael getting here?'

He snorted in a laugh. 'As far as your brother and sister are concerned, he's already here.'

Rosalina tried to piece the puzzle together in her mind.

'So... you're not Rafael?' She asked.

'Nope' Said... the human wearing the Rafael t-shirt.

'Your other friend is called Rafael.'

'Yep.'

'And that's his t-shirt?'

'Nope.'

'I don't understand.'

'Rosalina, you'll understand in a bit.' Dug said. 'Speaking off, though, Rafael's just about here.' The new human approached the group, his eyes on Freddie and his skate-flight tricks.

'So your siblings got powers too... dude, hate to say this, but his power's kind of cooler than yours.'

'Psh, as if you wouldn't give your life for my powers anyway.'

'True. Only for the convenience though, might I say.' He raised his eyebrow and index finger as he said this. He wiggled his finger dangerously close to Dug's face. 'Speaking of 'finger'-'

'No one said finger.' Dug said blankly. Rafael (The supposedly real one) and Dug stared at each other briefly, accumulating into Rafael moving his finger slightly to boop Dug on the nose. The two burst out laughing.

'Speaking of finger, may I-' Rafael continued

'Yeah yeah, go for it.' Dug held his hand out, fingers softly spread apart.

Rafael held onto his hand and flicked his thumb with his, as if it were a lighter. he feigned clicking noises, until on the third attempt, a small flame emmitted from Dug's finger. The two of them held big grins on their faces, almost laughing. Rafael reached into his pocket and pulled out what Rosalina could only guess was a cigarette.

'So your brother and sister getting high with us?'

Rosalina guessed it was not a cigarette.


	2. Chapter 2: The Seed of Weed

AN: I got high halfway through writing this so I might have steered myself off track, but it is what it is.

'I'm - pretty sure. Like I'm really pretty sure on this. Like, Peridot's all like 'ooh human development needs this and social stuff', right? like, she is - I did a terrible example, but- you get my point. On Peridot - Rosalina, you get me?'

'Peridot is the... let me think in the official part... Peridot is our 'Earth Advisor' or some shit, so- she knows more about humans than Pearl, cos Pearl only knows about Pearls.'

'Yes.' Dug continued 'You have a very complex internal dillema with being a Pearl and human - two hugely contradicting ideas. But anyway, what I was saying - Peridot listens to us as well, on like, what we want, and what we think would be good for our emotional development.'

'And!' Freddie butted in. 'I have seen her peering over Nora's shoulder, watching TV. She likes TV. And like, gems aren't supposed to be interested in all this dumb human stuff, it's just an assignment to them - but Peridot loves TV, even if she tries to hide it.'

'You think Peridot would be a furry?' Rosalina asked. 'Like, if she knew what one was. She seems more open to ideas than Pearl or -'

'Yes!' Dug interrupted. 'Peridot is more open to ideas, let's get back on that. I think we could totally convince her - to let us - throw a huuuuge party at the house. Like, When Pink Agate's away in space or some shit,'

'She can take Pearl with her too.' Rosalina added.

'When PA and Pearl are out, we can party with the Amethysts and all of you guys - cos I probably don't say this enough, but I really appreciate having all you guys in my life. You, my Lab-Rat Gems, you dudes, my human friends.'

Rafael (whether the real one or not, Rosalina couldn't care enough to remember) slowly dabbed in response, nodding his head and smiling at Dug.

'So who the fuck' Freddie started. 'Actually is Rafael? Like, it's you? Or... it's you. Right?'

'What if' Dug started 'Rafael was the friends we made along the way.'

Rafael coughed, handing the rest of the joint over to Rafael. 'What?' he said, his voice unstable with impending laughter.

'I'm Rafael' said the Rafael holding the joint. 'He' He gestured to the guy wearing the 'MY NAME IS RAFAEL' T-shirt. 'Is not Rafael.'

'So like,' Rosalina said. 'His name is Not-Rafael?'

'No no, Not Rafael.'

'But Not Not-Rafael either?' Freddie asked.

'But if he's not Not-Rafael, that means it is Rafael?'

'Yeah no, that makes sense, can't argue with that logic. _And_ he is wearing that 'MY NAME IS RAFAEL' t-shirt so that kind of lines up with our theory. '

Not-Rafael spoke. 'Ma namma Jeff' Freddie snorted and burst out laughing. Rosalina figured it was some kind of internet 'Meem', as Not-Rafael's phrase seemed to ring a bell in something Freddie had said before.

'No, my name's James. Ok. Mystery solved, guys!'

'Whoah.' Rosalina said. 'So what's with the t-shirt.'

James sat up suddenly. 'Right, so - I couldn't explain it earlier because it wasn't actually funny, but it's kind of funny when you're stoned, because you're looking at all these other abstract ways of understanding humour withour realising it.

'Uhh.'

'So. This one time, Dug called me Rafael.'

'All humans look alike.' Dug was laying down, staring at the sky. He turned his head slowly to look at Freddie and Rosalina. 'Is that racist?' He laughed.

'Anyway, there was some spray paint left over by uhh... some totally different teenagers who hang out here and spice the park up with graffiti.' James continued. 'Anyway, I was just like, in shock, when he called me Rafael, so I spray painted on Rafael's t-shirt 'MY NAME IS RAFAEL' like, just so he could be clear on it. I wasn't about to ruin my own clothes by sparying them. But then, like, I realised it looked kind of cool, like all punk and i-don't-give-a-fuck-this-isn't-fashionable kinda thing, and like, I wanted it to be my shirt so bad. Soo... we made a deal.'

'He traded his shirt?' Rosalina asked.

James looked at Rosalina, his eyes looking to the side. He opened his mouth to speak, but held it in an o shape for a bit. After a few seconds, he shook his head 'No I kind of stole it.'

Rosalina rested her head back. 'That's... oh. You fucking thief.'

'Hey, to be fair, Rafael didn't care, and it's not like he could have worn it without his mum freaking out that he'd ruined one of his tshirts.'

Rafael, also laying down, slowly raised his fingers in the peace sign. 'All gucci gucci.'

The five of them fell into silence.

'It's like... so much more important to me that James got a cool t-shirt with an abstract string of stoner comedy behind it like, you know, somethings can only be funny because we've lived through them ourselves, so like it doesn't make sense humour-wise because it's such a thin level of humour that not many people share it, but when you get stoned and shit, you can understand all these presumptions of things that stand out in everyone's head - it's all different and shit for all of us though, but we can kind of see those things clearly, and when we can share them physically you can make it easier - like Rafael, you know that woman we saw today carrying her shopping bag close to her face? like, it was still a normalish way of holding it, she just clutched under the bag with her hands and leaning back, and I wondered why she was doing that and my head had a million thoughts and the one I'd settled on as most likely was that she was crouching so she wouldn't be seen by this robot that could only see if you made eye-contact, and it's just - there were all of the million other thoughts I had that I can remember remembering, but I've never thought about them before. Like there was another reality where everything was fine except her sister was pregnant, and that's a nice two sentence reality but it just didn't make sense, plot-wise, on why she was leaning back. So It must have been like - Anyway, that's what I told myself plot-wise. But the funny thing was, from where she was standing, It didn't make any sense - If there were robots after you, they're robots. And if they're advanced enough to change themselves, they could make themselves fly, like make little drone versions of yourself, dumb robot shit! So of course they should be in the sky! Like, why would she think they wouldn't be? But what's funny is the obvious solution would to like, hide yourself away and fucking barricade your doors, like, I don't know, not doing the obvious thing when you're living in a very dangerous world is so dumb it's funny.'

'dude what'

'I haven't been this stoned in a while.' Not-Rafael... James, said. 'I should probably head back, my mum'll be waiting for me.'

Rosalina turned her head towards Dug, who now lay on his stomach, his right arm and leg hanging off the top of the half-pipe.

'Bro, what... My mind's been blown a few times tonight but like, what're the gems gonna do if we don't get back soon?' Rosalina asked. 'because our relationship with the gems, and how they care for us - I'm not being funny but it is a bit fucking weird, like uncharted territory. Like, are we supposed to listen to them or just do our own thing?'

Dug looked up at her, then down to the floor. 'Honestly, I just put it out of my mind a lot... but when I think about it, I realise we're just test subjects. Our entire lives are here just to live out someone else's 'what if' idea and if we're not working how they want us to be working, they'd try to destroy this planet, and it wouldn't be the first time.'

'What do you mean, first time?'

'I've talked to Peridot. A few times. And how she watches TV? I see Pink Agate looking at her sometimes, looking at her like she's one of us. I know she doesn't respect the Amethysts, or us, or anyone but herself and the diamonds. But how she looks at Peridot, it's like she hates her. Like she's only here because she has to be. And maybe she's just that bitter, but Peridot looks scared. Like she tries not to show it but you can look into someone's eyes and see how petrified they are despite how their bodies acting. And when I look at Peridot after one of her conversations with Pink A, I see an otter on the floor, neck up against a wall while Pink Agate holds a knife to it, and the otter's squirming and begging 'Please. Don't kill me' and Pink Agate's saying 'Don't give me a reason to.' and... It's pretty fucking scary.'

'Bro.' Rosaline couldn't think of much to say. Well, she could - she could think of so many parts of what Dug had just said and look at all the horrible things that implies, but she could also think about all the possible good things from it. Peridot was one of them - though she probably couldn't act like it, she was just as undesirable as they were. And that was awful, but it also mean't, when it came to the end of the world, Peridot would stand with them.

'I was just thinking of what words would come out my mouth.' Rosaline started. 'Then I got lost on a couple huge thought processes.'

Dug laughed. 'Being stoned will do that to you.'

Freddie sat up and dragged himself over to Dug and Rosalina, as James half-carried a sleeping Rafael home. 'I'm gonna watch so much fucking anime when I get back.' James said to no one in particular as he walked off with Rafael.

'I don't know... What, if we're ever going to end up fighting for our freedom from the gems, like some sort of anime. I like to think about exciting stories and things, and I've realised how one of those could apply to our situation. Like, come on, we fucking know we're just lab-rats, just because they got to this existence first doesn't mean we don't already know all their studies.' Dug started.

'I'd be terrified' Dug said. 'But I'd do it. Like, if one of you decided to make your stand, I couldn't - I couldn't just let them shatter you. I love you guys - I know we've had a very weird kind of sibling-other test subject relationship, but I know we're all in the same situation. Jane, too, even if she's acting more like a gem than a human. She always goes with Pink Agate to homeworld and act all gem-like, she probably decided just to live her life as a defected gem, who has to eat and drink and sleep. She probably thinks there's nothing for her here, but knows this is just the testing period, and she just needs to wait a few hundred years or whatever then she'll be free to resume her duties from whatever Sapphire she was before. She's got future-vision, she must know what she's doing. She barely speaks to us, like she doesn't want to - I don't know what she must think of us. And... I know we haven't been that close. Like, How Jane is with Pink Agate? We thought you and Pearl were like that, like you didn't see yourself - but my humans and I got stoned a while ago and I realised what a complex internal struggle you must have - because you know you're supposed to be this servant, right, but you're also a human, and you know if you commit to this servant lifestyle, you will be able to deal with all the human emotions, you'd like, brush them off and shit, but I realised you're not like that, and that's not what you want. And-'

'That's not what I want!'

'Damn right! I'm so glad I got you out today.'

'I want to be a human that happens to be a gem. I don't - I don't want this gem to define me, I want me to define the gem! And that's like, the opposite of being a Pearl!

'You're already a total fucking rebel.'

'Being a Rebel is pretty fucking metal.' Freddie chimed in.

Freddie leaned forwards, and Dug sat up. A group hug appeared - Rosaline unsure of who started it, if she even did herself - but the moment had felt like it was naturally coming to a hug, and someone had taken the initiative.

'I love you guys.'

Freddie leaned closer to Dug and the two gazed at each other.

'I always considered you my bestfriend. Even growing up, a kid... You were the one other cool person here, like you were me, but different and cooler.'

Dug wore a smile on his face that was jam-pack full of emotional content and appreciation.

What followed appear to Rosalina as sudden, but perhaps for Dug and Freddie, was a culmination of a silent conversation they'd been having for the longest time.

Freddie leaned closer to Dug's face and Dug did so too, and suddenly they were kissing. Not a drunken full-on makeout, but a soft, slow kiss that said 'I see you and appreciate you.'

then Rosalina probably realised she shouldn't be staring, and felt a familiar feeling of 'being unwanted, but being unable to leave.' because she definitely could leave - and perhaps the two of them wanted her to now, but if they had to put it into words, they'd put it into words that said - 'No, you don't have to leave', because they're not bad people and they don't want to make anyone feel bad, so they're just there, kissing, and Rosalina is stuck thinking in her own head about all these things that were just ideas formed in her head and had no concrete existence.

The two stopped kissing and Rosalina realised she was still looking at them.

'You alright?' Dug asked, an underbrush of stoner speak to his voice.

Rosalina feigned her pearl voice with a strong accent of _being totally fucking blazed_ 'I'm a fairly bit stoned, my Dug.'

Freddie and Dug burst out laughing.

'You sure you're alright to joke about that?' Freddie asked.

'Totally, like how else am i gonna break the fear of my own mind if i don't joke about it?'

'This is pretty meta.' Dug said. 'Sometimes you just exist outside normal reality in this weird funky plane and everyone there's like, 'wow, pretty weird that we exist and this is what we exist in, like you got to admit, it's preeeeetty fucking weird.' because you're all just... on a greater plane than usual.'

'And it'll never end either, because there's so many things to think of that we haven't thought of yet.' Freddie added.

'Bro you're bare stoned.' Dug said.

'Do you guys.' Rosaline pointed at Dug and Freddie. 'Do this a lot?'

'Do you mean like get stoned and deep or like, uh, the kiss thing, because gotta admit, that was kind of new.' Dug joked.

'Yeah we're just... a lot stoned and seeing all these little strings of each other and all their potential.' Freddie said

'He's been thinking of it as strings, I'm seeing it like a temporary healthbar that's slowly filling up and it got full and that's why we kissed.'

'That's not a bad way of thinking about it. You play too much Animal Crossing.'

'Dude I hope that was a joke.'

'This is pretty wild.' Rosalina said. 'Feel like I feel like in this moment... I'm definitely not a pearl. But I'm also not a human. I'm just this little ball of energy trying to work with my human mind. But nah, anyway, I mean't how often have you two been smoking pot together and just, like, hanging out.'

'We've hung out a few times.' Freddie said.

'Yeah, I was going out to the park to meet my new friends and skate and shit, then got a bit stoned and started thinking about Freddie and realised we'd probably get along, so we went to see Sadie Killer and the Suspects when they came through here the other week, and afterwards we were feeling pretty closer and then we went and got stoned and we've become like, proper close stoner-buds since.'

Dug turned to Rosalina. 'Like, yeah, it's different when we're not stoned - we're more, hiding within who we are, and we're not as open and loving of each other. Not like in a bad way, it's completely fine. Like Jane's doing her own thing and we could never understand it, but I know she's doing it because she thinks that's the best way for her to be, for her own sake. And if you, Rosalina, if you decide you need to be a Pearl and act only for yourself - because we did notice you were acting fairly Pearlish when we invited you - but being that kind of gem, and serving others, that's okay - you do you. But always know that I'm here, that we're her, and you can always switch from that lifestyle you chose and come back to us. I don't want you to ever feel that you've committed to that lifestyle and you can't talk with us again, because I'll always be here.'

'Wow.' Rosalina had a fucking loooooot in her mind right now. 'That means a lot. And I'll try to always remember that, even if I think of it as a stupid thought that goes against everything I am - I'll always have it in the back of my head and maybe, if I do switch to be in full-Pearl mode for the rest of my life, maybe I'll see it, and maybe I'll talk to you again.'

Rosalina and Dug leant there foreheads together. Freddie was asleep on Dug's shoulder at this point. 'So that Kiss?' Rosalina asked. 'Are you two... like, into each other?'

'Not romantically. At least if it is, it's not something I know about yet. But... Nah, I really don't think it was that. It's just like, the kind of thing that happens. There was a lot of little strings leading up to that, and yeah, my heart was racing a lot because it meant so much, that one level of closeness where this person is at the exact place as you and you know you're joining together-'

'I've...' started Rosalina. 'Never heard someone describe a kiss so much.'

'Well, yeah.' Dug laughed. 'I'm fairly baked. And... It was a pretty amazing kiss. And I know we're gonna wake up tomorrow, and we might feel really fucking awkward about it... but we'll get past that. We both know where we are now, and tomorrow, we'll just know we were in the same place.'

'Same place as in' Rosalina tapped the skate ramp they were sitting on. 'Skate Park?'

'Nahh fam.' Dug said, patting his chest. 'Here.'

Rosalina made a clicking noise with her tongue and winked in appreciation of the wholesomeness, like I just did before I wrote that it was actually Rosalina who did.

'We're not like brothers. I know that's what I've said and for the most part thought, but that was more of an easier way to describe you guys to my human friends. You think they'd understand the kind of relationship you have with the other lab rats in your chamber. I felt what we had was like distant brothers and sisters, but I feel so much closer with you guys after tonight, like, not as family, because what if any of us end up dating, like that'd be awkward if we'd been referring to ourselves as family for the longest time, right? But anyway, the five of us? We're never gonna know anyone like us. Raised here, half human, half alien - and if we were raised in space, our basis on this reality would be as aliens that happen to be human, which is really just another form of alien. But we're not - well, I'm not, I'm a human that happens to be an alien. This is the reality I know. And I guess Jane, she sees herself as an alien that happens to be human.'

'So what are we?' Rosalina asked. 'To each other?' Dug pulled her in for a hug.

'We're so much more than friends or family, we're some of the few people that could ever experience a reality like the one we find ourselves in every day. There's not a word for all these concepts that don't exist, so I can't say what we are - but whatever we are, we're in it together, and we know there's so few of us here that we might as well be close to another soul in this reality.'

Rosalina pulled back and checked her watch. Her Pearl was telling her she should go inside, apologise for being late, snitching on Dug and Freddie, then doing all her laundery before going to bed and sleeping the high off.

But she didn't have to be what she's supposed to be, now did she? So she stayed with Dug, their conversations becoming more humorous than existential, their attention swabbed on the subtle humour with everything that happens. They made their way home, after a half-hour conversation about dogcopter, the shitpost movie series that didn't take itself seriously, or crying breakfast friends, the super weird show that worked in ways no one usually saw it worked, and dubbed by Rosalina and Dug as 'A Modern Masterpiece'. When they got home, they tucked Freddie into his bed and returned to the living rooom and watched fuuucking dogcoppppter mate, like come on, that's just what you do isn't it.

After Dogcopter, they put the second on, but Rosalina could already feel herself suddenly opening her eyes and realising she'd started to drift off, and longing for this feeling to last forever but knowing her body needed sleep, and when she arose from that sleep, the feeling would be gone.


End file.
